I can get over the idea that while I'm eating lime jello that I'm actually ingesting cleaner. You know, "Mr. Clean" or something. I'm trying to get over that.
I am expecting to spend the rest of the evening vacuuming the stucco off the ceiling of the bathroom. I get out of the shower every morning and just stand there watching the little chunks fall all around me.
My grandmother is the best storyteller.
My mother called up Bronwyn because suddenly I'm horrified at how starved for friends these days. The one remaining person in the city who I see on a semi regular basis, and is still talking to me is working tomorrow. So Bronwyn (who is 12, but I don't care cause she's fun)and I are off for adventures on 17th Ave.
The other night there was this amazing single explosion of thunder and lightning all at once and it was insanely bright and loud and I literally thought someone had detonated the a-bomb over our house and I was waiting for the weight. I actually jumped into the nearby door frame, which seems rather silly now. I've either watched too many Baghdad documentaries, or I'm just really prepared for the worst.
I never used to remember my dreams, and I still maintain that I don't have any. However this morning I had an extremely trippy dream. It was like my family were all characters in Party Monster, and my father had murdered a drug dealer from Africa and stuck his body in a box and put it in our garage... (oh, my brother was Clara the chicken!!!!) so anyway, my father had forgotten what box it was and so we were searching through our garage for the body and then Mom woke me up.
I'm sitting in my bedroom, on the floor, monsterous headphones on my ears, talking to myself. You see, I'm about 1/8th of the way through my French Coursebook, and it comes with a CD that tells you how to pronouce things. And that's important 'cause you know, my brothers a stickler for pronouciation.
The thing I find a bit funny, and I had to comment, was that when the book is teaching people to ask for things they start out:
Avez-vous............de l'eau?
Avez-vous............des cigarettes?
Avez-vous............du feu?
They then go onto soap and paper, like the only things you could possibly need when speaking a foreign language is cigarettes and soap. I find this amazing.
The second thing I can't really believe is that they think it's very important to be able to say:
Donne-t-it de l'argent?
Does he give money?
Now, I suppose that's one of those things I'll eventually end up saying if I were to live in a french speaking population for any great ammount of time. But I get the impression that this is a traveling type of book designed for people going to Paris. I don't get it.
All in all I like this book better than the last. I figure I'll just work my way through the library's collection of French CD/Books while I'm riding the bus every morning next fall.
I started this at ten last night and only finished at two. I'm really proud of this one. This is me. Final point. This is my city, these are my pictures, these are things that make me happy. Rainbow stars! How cool is that! Plus it all worked together seamlessly.
I've changed a bunch of my links. I'll be adding different stuff as soon as I figure out what that will be. I have changed my comments from Enetation (or whatever they suck) to Blogger comments. I love you, please comment. I don't know what's going to happen to all of the previous comments you all made, but I think they're still there, you just can't see them.
Today my mother had her pupils dilated. It's crazy. She looks possessed and she is wearing sunglasses and I hate talking to people when I can't see their eyes. My brother is scared of her because he is a loser.
Things are progressing like mad and I love it. I'm going to change my world and it starts with organization.
IKEA is my dreamland. Today we hopped into the van, because it was nearly raining and it was cloudy and really cold, and we got on the highway and drove all the way out to IKEA! I adore that store. I went there on a date once, but that's another story that will be left far in the back of my memory.
I bought a funky CD organizer that I have hung way up high above my bed. I am going to try to organize my CD's by cronological of when I bought them order. I don't know how well this will work but we'll see.
I think IKEA is trying to help the average Joe out with colour coordination by simply not offering colour options. So I got red. My choices were red and red. I also go a silver round powerbar, because my room is electrically challenged.
I have to be at work in approximately one hour. I am not dressed, my feet are still covered in mud that has now been rubbed into my skin. All of my clothing is dirty. By which I mean it is covered in mud and dirt and has a few more rips and holes than last wednesday.
The folk fest was awesome, and now I have a week of semi freedom mixed with attempting to make up work. When I get home from work I will begin the daunting task of replying to the past two weeks worth of e-mails, and posting the past two weeks worth of photos.
For now I will try to find clean library appropriate clothing, find food, and find a way to work.
Love.
Wicked Eh? My brother is the best person to photograph because he never sits still, and has a facination with being three feet from the lens. You never know what's going to turn out with him.
I've just woken up from my third consecutive dream with a Montreal setting. This is bizarre. I think I'm liking it though. I'm hoping that if it continues it will push me further on my "Bustin' out of Home" plan.
The ceiling of my bathroom is crumbling to the floor. My mother and brother are rifiling through the flyers. Life is happening and it is full of possibilities.
I showed this to my mother, it's Parking the night club that I adore. My father was particularly impressed by the Faggy Baggy thing. My mother is impressed that I didn't break down into sobs when I had to leave. My parents are cool, and this place is heaven on Thursdays and Sundays.
My life seems very exciting at the moment, at least to me. What with Montreal and now the Folk Fest interspersed in with everything else I have on the go, I mean it's very exciting. I don't feel like writing about any of it though... so I think for a while this will be a "photo blog."
Change is good.
I took a whack of photos this evening. Of everything. Because I don't really intend to write as much as I usually do. As it is now I'm really enjoying living in the moment. There will be very little sleep between now and Sunday night, and I'm probably not going to be that coherent. So just as soon as I figure out how to get the photos from my brother's new camera (which might as well be made of gold and covered in glitter for how cool it is) they will be up here.
"I want to be five again, when you're five years old, you can make friends with anyone you want without freaking them out." ~Bronwyn I've told you how cool this kid is. She's currently 12 and suffering through that terrible phase where you want to be yourself, but yourself is really not cool, and so you're just really lonely or you really don't like who you are. I gave her a great big hug.
This I took in a bathroom when we stopped in a cafe for a snack. We had just been to this exhibit (which was phenominal) the night before. This poster was on the door of the bathroom stall, that reflection is me.
La Cuzn' walking through the Old Port on our way to the fireworks. This is my favotire picture of the whole trip.
I keep having vivid dreams that I'm in Montreal looking for an appartment or a job or something to do and I'm going and being all busy and then I wake up, and then I just have to try to not cry because in less than an hour I have to leave for work and then I won't be able to stop until Monday, and I don't really think I'm having fun.
The trip over all did exactly what I wanted it too. It got me out of my comfortable little groove and I've now seen a completely alternative lifestyle for the rest of my life. I've seen that in places not everyone is angry, and not everyone is scared all the time, and not everything is like Calgary. It is very possible for me to go to Montreal and for me to find a job and learn to speak a different language and I won't be miserable or lonley or silent or hidden.
I am also going to stop surpressing the things I want to say and do and believe just because I think someone will like me better. I have been doing that for so long without even realizing it. So, things are changing drastically and I am once again emotionally stable and I have a vaigue plan.
Things don't seem quite so dire anymore.
I was going to write a epic novel and whatnot but I am so tired. I am also a little bit sick after the hellish plane ride. So, for now, what she said. Parking is addictive. I want to dance. I want to dress up in ridiculous clothing and dance like I am surrounded by hot, sweaty, gay men.
I think I've changed.
Oh my fucking god..... I just had the best evening of my life... or something like that.
Went to a drag show at Cafe Cleopatra, or something like that. Where my fabulous cousin uhhh works... yes. it was magnificent. And yes, nobody cares that we are under 18.
Otherwise the trip has been excellent. thursday was Le Parking night, which will be detailed later. much later, like Wednesday.
My aunt dragged brenna and I to TWO museums and one thrift store, ten thousand villages to buy a gord, and on the greatest cab ride I will ever have. The drive started to talking to my aunt who speaks rough french and I think he thought we wanted to go have food, so instead of driving us where we wanted to go he drove us to "The best portuguese restaurant where you can get poulet on wood coals..." or so we understood. He then drove us to where we wanted after we explained that we had already eaten.
It was tres bien. Oh. In the museum I almost signed the guest book with "Bien!" but held back due to lack of insanity at the time... I think.
Anyway, pictures, mail if I`ve promised you, and stories in a few days.
xoxoxo
It is five thirty nine in the am. A few minutes after the official sunrise. I ate some toast and a bowl of soy chocolate ice cream for "breakfast", and I'm listening to experimental Jazz on CKUA. Only under special circumstances will this ever happen again.
Brenna and I are leaving in less than 12 hours. I'm packed. I have food because the airline no longer gives free food. I have all the meds and junk figured out (now we pray they let me take the needle on the plane.) The whole flying thing scares me, it always has, but before I was scared we'd crash, now I'm scared that we won't get on. I hate and love the security, because I know i'm "safe" but I don't know if they know that I'm a good person.
Anyway.
I am very excited. There will be a whole bunch of photos when I get home. Did I already mention that I'm excited? I can't wait to see Emily and Jonah and even my slightly off kilter aunt. I think it's completely bizarre that not only will Brenna be along but also the two sides of my family (mothers and fathers) are going to be meeting in the same place. Should be interesting.
I'm eating my last pixie stick that I bought it Blairmore, or Coleman or Frank, I think it was Frank. It's pineapple flavored.
I don't usually like pineapple. Infact I hate it mostly.
  
Backyard Fire a couple of weeks ago.
I just talked to Jonah my eldest cousin, I talked to him through my mother who was holding the phone. I completely adore that lovely man. He will probably be my favorite person on the planet for the rest of my life. I base this on the fact that he does the least in the way of talking to me, seeing me, and I have had the least amount of contact with in the past 10 years, and I still miss him the most. Plus, he's just naturally really, really cool.
  
I'm home. Nothing much of intrest happened. I read several excellent books, and a couple that I never finished. I rattled my brains out, swam a lot, and ate nothing but junk. I also have a lot of photo's from lots of different times, and so I think I will spend some time in the next couple of days getting that all organized.
The above is from Fernie.
I went to the park on my bike and ripped my pants. I'll fix them though. I was swinging and these two kids came up on their bikes and they didn't say anything to me, and I didn't say anything to them for the longest time and then when they did start talking I pretended that I was mute and it was fun. Hurrah.
I also mowed the lawn and made popcorn today. Went to Grandma's and read a book. Yes, an entire book. I don't even have to think about it anymore I just sit down and before I know it I've read yet another book. Crazy.
I've been spending a lot of time at the park, on the swings. I keep going to the swings because they are nice, but they are the small kind meant for small children and despite there being 4 playground within a five minute walk, they all have these mini swings. These swings make me horribly sick. I swing anyway, because motion sickness is worth it to fly.
I've been sleeping in the living room the past few days. My living room in right now a room with a CD player, large speakers, a pool table, 5 large drums, 1 guitar, 1 violin and my mattress. It's simply a living room because long ago when I was a princess we used to have a living room with couches and a tv and everything. It was wicked cool.
Sleeping in the living room seems to have some connection to wild and crazy dreaming. Last night I had a dream that I was at Holly and Julia's wedding. Holly's mother was showing me all this stuff, including stuffed dogs(the taxidermy kind, not the cute cuddly childrens toy.)I had to fly to the wedding and the airport was a HUGE playground, like Bonkers, with plastic slides in bright colours and nets and ball pits and everything.
This is all from my imagination, other than the wedding. I have never met Holly or Julia or Holly's mother, and I don't even really know where they live, and it would be really cool if the airports were in fact just giant Bonkers playgrounds, but it was cool anyway.
My life is amazing right now. I'm kind of in awe. I think things were in a downward spiral for the longest time, seven or eight years, and finally things seem to be going well and I've dug myself out of that, and I finally feel comfortable talking to people from before and during my downward spiral, but I no longer feel that I need to either. Things are amazing. Completely amazing.
Plus there's this girl and then there is me being a completely neurotic lunatic.
Happy Canada Day!
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