I have four Oreo's, an incentive, I need to study. Melissa Etheridge is screaming at me. Now I have three. The French revolution is of very little interest to me on a Sunday afternoon, or a Monday morning. The past does not interest me. I'd rather think about Oreo's, the black cookie part leaves it's crumbs on my teeth and my lips. The cream part sticks to my tongue and tastes fake, but delicious. My C.A.L.M. homework asked me "What makes you the same as everyone else?" I answered that I am like everyone else because I would keep the cream side of the Oreofor myself. I think that says a lot about me.

I saw Dylan at the mall today. Black lips-long black hair-long black coat Dylan. He was playing a Djembe in a store I was in. I whispered to my mother that he wears black lipstick to school and the girls are scared of him. On Sundays he goes to the mall and asks permission to play the drums and he wears a jean jacket and hiking boots. I like him. He is original. People think he's scary because he wears studded wrist bands and long black jackets and black lipstick. He's not. On Sundays he's not killing kittens, he's playing drums at Sunridge mall.

Now I have two...

My father and I are the only survivors. This evening I watched Gangs of New York. Erik left before the end of the first disk and mom left somewhere in the midst of the bombings. I persevered and found it to be a splendid movie. I'm not sure what dad thought but I think he liked it. The costume were amazing to say the very least, and to say more, striped socks and top hats are awesome!

The story was good, if not a bit too Hollywood. All in all though it was a very good show.

Picking apples while being serenaded by a man in a spiderman hat and a man in purple shoes is something I have never done before. Now I have.
My knees are wet... I have lady bugs in my hair and we have three boxes of apples. The clown has packed up and is leaving and I think... if I forget the whole violin part this evening has been wonderful.

Firstly Nico you better have a good excuse, otherwise I'm kicking your ass.

With that now over I shall move on to this wonderful bit of my past expressed in music. I found this mixed CD a few days ago. It's basically what my entire life was like about a year ago, Fall 2002.

1. Dirty Vegas - Days go By
2. Dirty Vegas - Without You
3. John Mayor - Your Body is a Wonderland
4. John Rzeznik - I'm Still Here
5. Rob D. - Clubbed to Death (from the Matrix)
6. Nada Surf - Where Is My Mind
7. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge
8. Run Lola Run - Running Three
9. The White Stripes - Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground
10. The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba
11. Tool - Anemia
12. Wallflowers - When You're On Top
13. Moby - Ambient Remix
14. Weezer - Island in the Sun
15. Belle & Sebastian - Stars of Track and Field
16. The Juliana Theory - The Piano Song

There ya go. That was what was in my mind a year ago. Looking back now I wish I could have all the feelings that those songs remind me back. Those were good times, even though I didn't think so at the time.

On another musical note. I've been watching a lot of music videos, being that I'm uhh couch ridden? Anyway. I really love the White Stripes new video. I don't think much about the song itself but the video is amazing. And Meg plays the drums in bare feet!

And also. I'm tired of heading about Madonna and Britney. I mean is it really so surprising? It's MADONNA! Queen of the shocking image? Did we really not see this coming eventually. Now everyones doing it. [edit] For clairification, it was the MTV awards that they kissed at. At the Emmy's the guy from Raymond kissed the main MC for the Emmy's, thus the mockery. [end edit] They made a mockery of the Emmy's. Sharon Osborne kissed some girl on her show today (are we really that surprised there either?) and it's all anyone talks about. It's not like they are the first same sex kiss on television! Also it was totally nasty.

But that's just MY opinion.

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee hee, hoo hooo ha ha hee hee cough. Train 48 makes me so incredibly happy!

Train 48 tonight! Hurrah!

This morning I watched Ellen Degeneres talk to an orangutan. That was hilarious! Then I watched Holes with the cast commentary. That was also hilarious.

Now I am watching the Lion King. I do indeed know all the words. Sad really but I love it.

Meanwhile I squeak when I inhale. Mom wouldn't let me go to school this morning so here I am.

I am slowly dieing. Cause of death drowning. Seriously. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I had an asthma attack yesterday. That was fun. Fun fun fun. I'm on the drugs till the end of March now. Thanks... thanks a lot Anthony.

My father is also sick. He spent the entire day yesterday sleeping on the couch and now he's there again. Ginger tea is delicious!

Ellen Degeneres has a talk show! She's hilarious!

I HATE THIS FRIGGIN' COUGHING!!!!

I do not blow my nose gracefully. I am a freakin' goose!

I may have said this before, and probably will again, but: I think the song Teenage Dirt Bag by Weatus is pure brilliance.

Also... Anthony deserves to be kicked in the shins.

"Be who you are and say what you think, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." --Dr. Suess

Now announcing the upcoming Crowded House Phase. Bear with me please.

Post script: Train 48 makes me SO HAPPY!

The power of music never stops amazing me. Today, listening to John Mayer - Your Body is a Wonderland I remembered so vividly the period of time that song represented to me. I could remember last fall when it was the popular song on the radio, how I felt at that time, and I felt is so strongly even though the feelings had no connection to the song, other than I felt them at relatively the same time. It always amazes me the power within a specific song, and within the music. The dormant memories and the memory of specific feelings that a revived with a few chords and bars of sound.

Countdown to Train 48:
22:03

It's only Tuesday. Luckily it's Train 48 day tomorrow. I get to waste a lot of time doing nothing for the next few days so at least I have decent evenings.

Tonight was indeed "Waking Life Night" but it was not "Stalking Karly Night" The market was there... She was not. Mom referred to her as "your friend" and at first it took me a moment to figure out who exactly that was.
So the day was in part a success. I just wish people would stop dumping the results of their own incompetence on me.

As the school administration becomes increasingly more incompetent, the find the need to ask me to comply to their requests? Am I wrong to glare at them? Harsh seething glares?

They have given me a crap schedule. Then I moderately fix it, after much effort. Then I go to crap classes with crap teachers. I do crap work that amounts to nothing at all and when I get used to that CRAP lifestyle they shuffle everything about once again. I'm supposed to just go along mindlessly like a sheep?

I have had about enough. Today I spoke up for myself. I had no choice but to be moved, but I refused to move into the crap arrangement that they had for me. I really did. I told them I wouldn't do it. So they moved me into different classes anyway, but at least I got a say.

I had a breakdown of sorts. A Vinyl type of melt down. I hate that I'm letting them screw up all of the stuff I really liked just so that they can fix their initial mistake.

Man... Theme for the year: I can't wait till I'm out!

WHAT THE FRIG??? HEAVY SNOWFALL WARNING??? - Excuse me while I go back to bed.

I'm thinking about staging a coup against the green thumbs club. I want to take it over and start a earth club instead. Tree huggers and recyclers and what not. Who's with me?

Today - Very unproductive. School is a complete waste of time.

This evening - I had Yoga. I'm a Yogi. While at yoga I find it Nearly impossible to sit still for any period of time longer than a few minutes. Now I'm finding it difficult to remove myself from that floating spacey feeling.

Happiness TM is a great book by Will Ferguson. It's about a self help book that destroys the entire American economy. Intrigued? I didn't think so.

This morning I woke up feeling like a heroin addict without heroin. Lovely feeling really. I fell over a couple times and slept over half the way home.

Fernie was interesting. More so than other trips. Happiness TM is a great book, by an author from Calgary.

I spent a great deal of car time today thinking about my exterior image. I don't have much of a style. I'm one of those people who has a different style each day, and often mixes them. So now, I ask you is that a good or bad thing, and what do you think my MAIN style is?

I had/have a stalker! It's so COOL!

I am a Celtic beatnik hippy, who gets lost occasionally but usually finds herself. I know who I am, and what I am here for. I know where I've been and I know who my friends are.

I really really love Slainte Mhath. Who are playing at the lovely Ironwood Stage and Grill on Feb. 1st. I MUST GO!

Today is September 11th. I didn't realize this until fourth period. I would make a horrible American.

Several big events in my life today:
The first is that Blogger now has spell check and the option of changing the date and time manually. I don't really know why the latter makes me so happy but it does.

The second is that Ms. Smyth said I was well above the average grade 11 English student. This made me grin like crazy!

The third is that Emily talked to me. I am really tired of hating her. I want to actually stick to something for once. It's not like I'm crazy about her and want to go running back to her, best friends forever and that kind of crap but I wish that it didn't bother me so much when she talks to me. I mean, she didn't really hurt me, she's bloody annoying most of the time. It's just too much work to hate anyone.
The main reason why I'm putting so much thought into this is because a) She already thinks I'm whimsical... twice I'm walked away from her crap now and twice I've walked back. I just can't do that. Any advice? Generally I'm a lot happier, but when I have to talk to her and when I see her I'm not so happy about not wanting to talk to her, make sense?

the fourth is that my family finally utilized the speakerphone feature on our telephone! We called my cousin Emily who I haven't talked to in what feels like century's. It was great, she's all giggling and happy.

So all in all a good day.

In a continuation of yesterdays comment:

My mother lives her life in a series of 'if only," and other could have been's. She rarely sees the positive in most situations and tends to dwell on the unchangeable and the things that have already happened. I hope I don't think like that.

"Where you are going is often times much less important than where you are coming from and where you have been."
I tend to dwell on the past quite a bit. I don't really mind but I think some would consider it one of my flaws. It's not a bad flaw at that.

I had my first yoga class tonight. I feel a slight tad guilty or something. Brenna and I do everything together. It's getting a bit insane. Mom won't let up about the job at the library, and I need the money. So, yoga! I drank three glasses of water this evening. I never drink water. It was odd I just had a craving for it.

The amazing thing about my mother, and maybe yours too, is that she knows everything about me, often before I do. Time and time again I think I am keeping my life from her, that I am in my own world that she just doesn't understand. Time and time again she proves me wrong stating with great clarity what is really going on with me. I know that there is nothing I could ever hide from her, because for a while, she will play along, and wait it out until I offer clues and eventually I tell her.

Today in the car, we had a great conversation about my love life. Which at the moment doesn't exist, other that .w. and I am quite content with this. She asked me if I was dating someone, a specific someone, I laughed. I don't know why. I love my mother though, and she always amazes me.

Welcome to my world installment number 1:

In my world it's perfectly natural to shout of in the middle of a sentence, "I call that for my MSN name!!!"

I wish that I could show you how lovely everything is. That I could l let you taste my delicious cookie, or that I could have you feel the hot sticky air of the smokey late summer evenings. I wish you could hear the rythmical clicking of the soft keys, and the way my feet are swolen, and the stickiness of my fingers. I wish, I could show all this to you, but, all I have are words.

When I was a kid things were so simple. I though I had the whole world figured out. I figured that my life would be simple. I could always get the guy. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and that's what everyone told me was beauty. When I was a kid, all that seemed to matter what getting the guy, but now I find that my blonde hair, and my blue eyes don't get the guy, and even if they did, I wouldn't want it that way. Man, things have changed.

I never thought I would have to worry about grades, or teachers, or my life after the guy. It never even registered in my sheltered mind that things might exist outside of my world. Now I worry about anger, and violence, and pedophiles, and most of the time, getting the guy doesn't even cross my mind.

Things were simpler then.

I just had one of what I assume to be many... in fact a whole long winters worth of after school naps. Man. You know the song "Season of the Witch" by Donovan. Well it's Season of the Bitch. A very long season lasting from about mid September till mid April. I'm very sorry to anyone who feels like putting up with me this winter. Appearantly I'm a mass of poisonous negativity. Which was the only thing I caught from the assembly today, which I felt was entirely directed to someone else. Someone completely different from me.

The school doesn't even see me! On top of that they have more children than avaliable teachers. Hooray. That sounds like a great plan.

On the up side I am the worlds biggest loser and I walk into a class full of my peers and start having a completely normal "Hey-how-was-your-summer-what-have-you-been-up-too-how's-your-husband?" type of conversation with the substitue teacher. Thats the kind of person I am, I love that I would do something like that.

I freaking LOVE my life!!!! Today, I got covert love letters (who are we joking, they were e-mails!) from some mysterious European. A few months ago I got an e-mail from some guy in India asking my to invest his millions in the American stock market, and today I cried when I read that Train 48 is taking a break.

No seriously, that show is bloody brilliant! And all day I was thinking, ok tomorrow I'll go to school and sit through homeroom with the homeroom teacher from hell and then I sit through the assembly while they talk about PRIDE and wonder if they are aware that PRIDE means a whole lot more that school conduct and then I'll go home and watch train 48 and everything will be wonderful!!!!!!!!

BUT NO!!!

Ok, I'm alright now. I laughed at my crazy e-mails, and I realised that I have several episodes on tape, so I'll be fine and well, they will be back, and until then I'm taking the bus home EVERY day.