Sometimes I am empty.

I've been having trouble sleeping, often it is not before 4am that I fall asleep, only to rise with a feeling of soulessness in the morning. Perhaps it is because you are not sleeping beside me these days. I am having hot flashes and stomach pains as well, is it from your absence, my impending move, or simply from a drug change?

I have undertaken the task of making you a masterpiece. Though, at times I don't feel that I am deserving of this job. I am filled with the dread that one day, you will look upon this art with contempt. I feel sometimes as if I am being too much, too ridiculous. Too much in love with you. Do you think so? This is passively addressing the issue. Is there an issue?

When you are around our world is amazing, and when you are gone, it is flat and uncomfortable. Who am I? What should I be doing? I am filled with self-doubt, a lack of ambition, a lack of desire. I am a shell of what I could be, what I should be. I go through the motions, I complete my tasks, but I do them without joy, without the knowledge that I am making things better, I am working towards an end, or a new beginning.

I will soon be back in my beloved city, in the arms for my lover, in the warmth of my friends and surrounded again with a sense of purpose.Who am I without you? Who am I without school? Who am I without the years of collected memories, ones that I have decided to leave behind.

All I know, is that I don't ever want to lose anything that I have in my life now. I have found paradise, and only when I am displaced completely can I realize the full effect of my magical home.

In three days, everything will be alright.