Adventures in Parallel Universes.

We were lying in bed, shy, silent, gazing at each other from the corners of our eyes. I knew what she was thinking, because I knew what I was thinking. I take great comfort in the fact that we are almost always thinking the same thoughts.

"Question: If you wanted to kiss me, would you? Or would you just think about it?" I asked her, after thinking for a good ten minutes about kissing her, thinking it would quickly become unbearable.

It wasn't long before we were lip locked, fingers entangled and the blankets between us quickly pushed away.

This place of easy peace I never imagined, never dared to consider possible. I want to declaire things here, write them down, commit to things in writing so I remember them, yet I am hesitant, the outside world is hesitant, cautionary and withdrawn, they don't understand this place I've found in this world.

I feel as if I stepped off the plane in September and instead of landing in Halifax I landed in a parallel universe of Halifax, the weather is warm and tropical, I pound the street in my prettiest dress bare arms reaching out for the world that I was always so hesitant to be immersed in. I want to be fully alive, live each and every day as altruistically, and at the same time selfishly, a "in helping others you also help yourself" idea. I think this future of mine will be superlative.

I think I need to map out some goals for myself, cause while, living day to day is an excellent way to be, I also find that there are some heaving gaps in my life, some absences that are causing self disappointment. I am not making art. I feel lame,limp and unexpressed. I need to change this "I am not worthy" idea I've developed in regards to my art. I can be an artist any way I choose, I can be a writer, musician, visual artist, photographer and structure creator. I can be all at once, and sometimes none. I just need to figure out how to be.

I need goals, maps of future houses, this is what I need my life to be like in the future to carry on this sublime existence I have fallen so precariously into.

When pieced together I realize that this life I have now is nothing more than a series of chance events that connected me to others, to situations and events that have lead to my euphoric sense of happiness, of purpose and love. This soul mate that I have found is that person, that one single person whom one is meant to find and spend their lives with, and if one single aspect of my past had been altered, I would not have found her, and the thought of that terrifies me.

But it's time to tuck myself into bed, with sweet dreams of tomorrow's intended productivity, of falling asleep curled comfortably in her bed tomorrow evening. This is a great living I've created for myself, that has both fallen into my hands and been worked for for two decades.

I love you universe, you've done good work.