apparently I live on neptune.
I think I win the holy fuck that's messed up contest. Yesterday Jessalyn was standing outside my building shouting my name so that I would notice her. WTF? Yeah, I think I handled it well though, at least while I was in sight of her. I was happy and calm and I chatted with out being cold and without interrogating her and my head didn't rush and my heart didn't pound and my knees did not shake, but I got into the elevator and I started screaming. I started screaming because it's not fair, because this is my city, because she has no right to talk to me.
After getting over the initial response which was to run down the street and throw myself into the harbor and my secondary response which was to drink myself silly, I realized how much better than her I am. I can't remember why I was so heart broken when she left me, and why I was so crazy about her. I am living in Halifax and I have learned how to be happy, and I made a fantastic friend, and I don't live in Calgary and I don't have a stupid job and I am not fucking 27 year olds because I can't deal with relationships. Basically, I'm awesome, she is lame, that is all there is too it.
My weekend got even stranger after that. My mother showed up, and apparently she wasn't coming to visit me at all, but actually just stopping in on her way through to Aunt Shelly's with Elaine Nicole and Jonah. So I got in the car with them and then I was in a low grade restaurant somewhere between Halifax and Annapolis Royal, and then I was in Annapolis, at my aunts house hanging out in the wind and the rain on the porch with my uncle who is the best uncle ever, and my cousin who I love dearly, and I watched them pass a joint back and forth and I was so happy that I belong among them. I also laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants and cried myself to sleep.
I was put on the bus in the storm this morning and I jumped off down the street and tumbled into my dining hall for some food. Shortly I will be off to the airport to retrieve Shannon and kick of a fabulous week of no crying and awesomness.
After getting over the initial response which was to run down the street and throw myself into the harbor and my secondary response which was to drink myself silly, I realized how much better than her I am. I can't remember why I was so heart broken when she left me, and why I was so crazy about her. I am living in Halifax and I have learned how to be happy, and I made a fantastic friend, and I don't live in Calgary and I don't have a stupid job and I am not fucking 27 year olds because I can't deal with relationships. Basically, I'm awesome, she is lame, that is all there is too it.
My weekend got even stranger after that. My mother showed up, and apparently she wasn't coming to visit me at all, but actually just stopping in on her way through to Aunt Shelly's with Elaine Nicole and Jonah. So I got in the car with them and then I was in a low grade restaurant somewhere between Halifax and Annapolis Royal, and then I was in Annapolis, at my aunts house hanging out in the wind and the rain on the porch with my uncle who is the best uncle ever, and my cousin who I love dearly, and I watched them pass a joint back and forth and I was so happy that I belong among them. I also laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants and cried myself to sleep.
I was put on the bus in the storm this morning and I jumped off down the street and tumbled into my dining hall for some food. Shortly I will be off to the airport to retrieve Shannon and kick of a fabulous week of no crying and awesomness.
posted by Kar.
at
2:21 p.m. 
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