He!She!You!Me!They!We!Us!OK
I have not been saying much lately, because I don't know what I think. Actually, I do know, most of the time, I just don't want you to know. I'm not dealing with a few things terribly well. I'm not coping with the fact that I have a past and no matter how completely opposite I feel 95% of the time, there is still 5% of my that wants to die. I don't know if you've ever wanted to kill yourself, but five percent is a lot.
I made a feeble attempt to drown the above in alcohol last night, which was promptly abandoned when Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome, and Laser Snake {What!!} started playing and my friends started dancing / violently thrashing around, and You Say Party, We say Die started being awesome!
In other news, I'm not dealing with the university thing very well. I've been officially accepted at Mount Allison, and I've got mail almost every day since they accepted me. However, I've only heard from the registrar's office via phone that I've been accepted at Dal, and I've got no mail. Logically, I'm not doing anything about this. I just want to accept the offer from Dal, and start paying tuition and sign up for Residence.
I'm planning a trip that I cannot afford, but I will take anyway, to Montreal the last week of July for Pride Week and The Gay Olympics, is anyone else in?
My birthday shall be highlighted this year by the Franz Ferdinand/Death Cab concert on April 26th! Boo-yeah!
Love,
p.s. I am really much more okay that I sounded in the first paragraph. There was a time when I was 95% wanting to kill myself, and 5% okay, so it's phenomenally better than that.
I made a feeble attempt to drown the above in alcohol last night, which was promptly abandoned when Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome, and Laser Snake {What!!} started playing and my friends started dancing / violently thrashing around, and You Say Party, We say Die started being awesome!
In other news, I'm not dealing with the university thing very well. I've been officially accepted at Mount Allison, and I've got mail almost every day since they accepted me. However, I've only heard from the registrar's office via phone that I've been accepted at Dal, and I've got no mail. Logically, I'm not doing anything about this. I just want to accept the offer from Dal, and start paying tuition and sign up for Residence.
I'm planning a trip that I cannot afford, but I will take anyway, to Montreal the last week of July for Pride Week and The Gay Olympics, is anyone else in?
My birthday shall be highlighted this year by the Franz Ferdinand/Death Cab concert on April 26th! Boo-yeah!
Love,
p.s. I am really much more okay that I sounded in the first paragraph. There was a time when I was 95% wanting to kill myself, and 5% okay, so it's phenomenally better than that.
posted by Kar.
at
1:47 p.m. 
1 Comments:
Dude, thoughts of suicide are such a bummer. Thankfully it is only 5%, but yes it means it's still a thought. Things can get pretty bad, but if you don't cave into anything bad (self harm, suicide), you come out a stronger person. I have wanted to go through with ending my life (tried several times too) majority of last year and it only complicated my relationships (and made me want to ignore everyone...sadly you were one of them) and created plenty of body damage. Just remember to not allow such thoughts to get in the way of enjoying your life (don't turn into me!) and don't allow your enemies to win by doing away with yourself. They don't deserve that gratification.
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