I have been trying to compile a list of the ultimate "2005" songs. I feel like I've missed out on so much. P.J. Harvey [for yet another year] Xiu Xiu, Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah, Wilco, Sufjan Stevens, the list goes on, and on, and on. I just purchased a mail order ipod, and with the help of long walks to and from work, I might just get a bit better at this listening business.
I shall contemplate this mix business, and get my list out in the new year.
Until then, I love you.
Sometimes I wonder if I stopped sending smoke signals to the outside world, maybe they would start coming.
It takes a lot for someone to make me angry. A lot. Seriously, I don't get defensive, or negative, or judgemental. Until you don't show up on time. For the first time in what may be my whole life I am mad at my cousin. Let me clarify why this is such a huge deal to me. This is my best friend. The girl who knows everything about me, or at least, everything about me, up until september. So this chistmas she's away from her family out east, but she's one hour away from my family in the west. The plan was that she would come to our house for chirstmas. She didn't show up. She doens't even have a good reason, and she didn't actually tell us this until yesterday in an e-mail.
BAH. Whereas, here I am, wishing all weekend that I could be with my Grandparents in New Brunswick over the holidays, and excited cause at least I'll see her, and then not even a word.
Frustration, explosion. I'm not telling her all of this, of course, because I'm internalistic and non confrontational. But I'm hoping she'll read this and realize that I am pissed off, big time.
So anyway. Lots of other cool stuff has been happening. I'll tell you about it some time.
Random Mix: Week Three
Sleater Kinney - One Beat
Spoon - The Way We Get By
Wolf Parade - Modern World
The Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's - Pin
Le Tigre - TKO
This week was all about the screechy.
Thomas Edison
Okay, so QC was absolutely fabulous today. I laughed for about five minutes because this is my day in a nut shell! Today was many layers of confusion. The confusion lead to frustration. But... I'm just going to go with the flow now. Which means, I'm tired, I'm going to bed!
Maybe.
I just don't know which way is up anymore. Just know that I love you all [I quite literally mean that!] and that I am sending you happy holiday tidings.
Because self portraits are fun!
Random Mix - Week Two
Danger! High Voltage ~ Electric Six [with Jack White]
The Firey Furnaces - Straight Street
Broken Social Scene - Lover's Spit [Feist Version}
Sleater Kinney - Modern Girl
The Libertines - The Man Who Would Be King
This week has been happy dancing music from the MP3 CD I made for walking to work.
Bedlam!
So, Life is hectic. I have been having both a fabulous and a not so fabulous time. It depends where you are when you see me. Or where I am. Work is both fun and tiresome. Sometimes [when the manager is not there] it is a great place to be. I met Giselle the ceramics major who has been working there for a while now. She seems interesting.
Marika drives me absolutely batty. Seriously, we have major problems with each other. Since I've decided I'm not taking crap from her, we've been much less fake chummy, and much more hostile.
Enough of that.
I should really break down and get an MP3 player, so that I won't any longer need to sick my discman down my pants. I'm being serious here. I haven't read anything in a really long time, and I really really want to read.
I have Thursday off. I don't think I've ever had a Thursday off. [This is not true.] I am sorry I don't have the time to update this with quality, spell checked and edited posts.
However! I will be starting my [lets see how well this one works] new weekly segment [to accompany my Random Weekly Mix, Character of the week. In which I will showcase a character from my life. If you'd like to be a part of this send me a photo of yourself and I will make you Character of the week. We'll see how well this works. I already have this weeks person picked out. I am very excited.
Yesterday was so fabulous, and I wish I could write it all down for you. But maybe later.
Oh how I love packing tape, and wrapping parcels, and give me a reason to send you something and I will!
Love.
Random Mix: Week Two
Jose Gonzalez - Crosses
Ladytron - Blue Jeans
Maria Taylor - Lighthouse
The New Pornographers - Jackie Dressed in Cobras
Wolf Parade - This Heart's On Fire
Nina Simone - Sinnerman [Verve Remix]
*extra special bonus track*
Rent Movie Soundtrack - La Vie Boheme & Seasaons of Love
So, it's something about how they say these lyrics, but the sound really amazing.
"525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee."
And because this basically sums if the meaning of my existence...
"To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three- piece suits
To fruits to no absolutes
To Absolute- to choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us-for once-, instead of a them -
La vie Boheme
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
Mucho masturbation
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
To Sontag,
To Sondheim,
To anything taboo
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
Lenny Bruce
Langston Hughes
To the stage
To Uta
To Buddha
Pablo Neruda, too
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
La vie Boheme"
Crosses.
I have been in a very strange state of mind lately. I am always in a slightly off kilter state of mind, but this week it's been even more off. On sunday and Monday I felt that I was retuning to my 13 year old, depressed, alone and pot smoking, state. I tend to avoid expressing myself when I feel like such shit, so I've been absent for a while.
I have fallen in love with "Rent" the movie, arm socks, and the idea of University. I am going to send in my applications over the weekend. I have decided that life is much more enjoyable when I just accept things the way they are, and get on with things. I am going to do that all the time now, because I think that I am happer then.
So, this arm socks business. I hate being cold. I wear leg warmers for both the fucntion and the fashion. If anyone would like to send me some images of acceptable arm sock/ leg warmer fashion I would be simply over the moon. If someone wanted to hand over their old worn out knee socks, well I'd probably find a way to compensate you for your efforts.
I will take some new pictures soon. I will start leaving the house [other than to go to work.] I will send off christmas cheer, I will make friends. [If someone would like to counsel me on friend making/ friend keeping/ how to avoid picking the crazy ones, we'll, I'd be very happy.]
Due to Rene, and my habit of embellishing my already alternative lifestyle, my collegues believe that me and my friends are all sex trade workers and drug dealers. I'm not sure where they came up with that.
I've been listening to the following song on repeat for probably a total of 12 hours, so, all week. It is fabulous!
Jose Gonzalez - Crosses
"Don't you know that I'll be around to guide you
Through your weakest moments to leave them behind you
Returning nightmares only shadows
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now
Crosses all over, heavy on your shoulders
The sirens inside you waiting to step forward
Disturbing silence darkens you sight
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now
Crosses all over the boulevard
The streets outside your window overflooded
People staring, they know you've been broken
Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces
Ignore them tonight and you'll be alright
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright."
Trouble.
I seem to be having a lot of difficulty with people lately. It is frustrating the hell out of me. Tomorrow I am going to go out by myself, I don't care how cold it is. I am going to the movies. I figure it's better than getting drunk by myself on a monday afternoon.
I am trying to change things, but there is a wall between me and the world.
Music: Yellow ~ Petra Haden & Bill Frisell
Random Mix Tape: Week One*
Portished ~ Roads
The Flaming Lips ~ Fight Test
Imogen Heap ~ Hide & Seek
Cat Power ~ Metal Heart
Wolf Parafe ~ Sons & Daughters of Hungry Ghosts
*Thus producing the first ever weekly random song mix tape. I plan for this to be a weekly even, due to my overwhelimg love of music, and my compulsive need to share it.
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