October 07, 2005

Music: Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan

"If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march out..."

I feel extremely uncomfortable. I have no idea why, or what it is. I am back in Four Falls. I should explain that, to me, four falls consists of about four houses, one being my Grandparents, the then the next closest house is too far away to see from here.

I think, I just loved Halifax, and being away from my mother so much, that being back is a bit of a shock. As I've mentioned, I believe, I find my mother a very stressful person to be around. I'm not sure why, because none of the others are. It's so loud here, most of the noise coming from her, or the tv, or Grampy, or the dynamite blasts from across the field.

I don't want to go home. I've had a couple of offers of long term beds. I pretend that they are not really serious, cause it would be so easy for me to stay here, and never go back to Calgary. I do miss Brenna, and being around people my own age. However, as much as I have planned for this winter, nearly all of it is transferable, and for the first time in my life I'm getting along with my brother.

Anyway, I'm sure my father would start crying if I decided to stay here. Plus, I have a Metric concert to go too, and I am once again poor.

I like having something to work towards though, I haven't had any sort of direction for such a long time. It's nice, know that I love places, I love people and I feel good some places.

I'll just have to remember that for the next two weeks, and try not to freak out too much.

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