Juliet - Thea Gilmore
I'm having a lot of trouble with my identity, in that, i feel as if I have to stiffle it. I don't know why feel that way. It like I need to have like fifteen minutes every day where I can just be "gay." I hate saying that. I really do.
I think, Erik drove me to the breaking point. Everything about me was so negitive for so long. I haven't had a civil conversation with a member of my family for weeks. I have no idea who I am. I find myself obessing over things like songs, and tv shows and movies. My movie list for this weekend:
American Beauty,
Party Monster,
Dirty Pretty Things,
The L Word third dvd.
See even here I put the l word last on my list, don't want to seem to excited about one of the only television programs that I've actually felt something, actualy felt connected to.
Poor Twiggy gets the worst of it I think. I'm not sure why, but I don't feel uncomfortable imposing my sexualitiy on her. She just goes along with it, like it's completely natural for me to be so unconventional.
I hate this entry because I think I've nailed it. This is why I haven't had a decent conversation with anyone but Brenna and Twiggy. This is why I'm so anxious, why I feel so off balance. This is why I feel like theres something fundamentally wrong with my world.
I think, Erik drove me to the breaking point. Everything about me was so negitive for so long. I haven't had a civil conversation with a member of my family for weeks. I have no idea who I am. I find myself obessing over things like songs, and tv shows and movies. My movie list for this weekend:
American Beauty,
Party Monster,
Dirty Pretty Things,
The L Word third dvd.
See even here I put the l word last on my list, don't want to seem to excited about one of the only television programs that I've actually felt something, actualy felt connected to.
Poor Twiggy gets the worst of it I think. I'm not sure why, but I don't feel uncomfortable imposing my sexualitiy on her. She just goes along with it, like it's completely natural for me to be so unconventional.
I hate this entry because I think I've nailed it. This is why I haven't had a decent conversation with anyone but Brenna and Twiggy. This is why I'm so anxious, why I feel so off balance. This is why I feel like theres something fundamentally wrong with my world.
posted by Kar.
at
10:07 p.m. 
1 Comments:
It's ok Nova. Every human loses sight of who they are every once and a while throughout their lives. Being a teenager is the worst for that...also seeing as soon you will be considered an adult. Things will clear up soon enough. I don't mind whatever you impose upon me. I mean I've had several experiences when it comes to being gay...(I'll explain in person.) You should never feel ashamed for who you are(or even awkward about who you are). I'm comfortable with whatever you have to say, and I will always be there to help you.
When times are difficult, remember what you told me. Just breath.
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