Today was better than expected, and for now, I've decided I can't think about the future anymore, just the present and living in the moment, because that works. That doesn't lead to me wondering if I'll ever be able to keep a normal job, or if I'll ever be able to make long term plans. I get scared a lot about all the pain, and that I might be like this forever, and I'll never want to be alone, and how hard it will be to be normal. I could be talking about anything right? I mean, the above applies to everything about living and there is nothing I can do to change it in any perticular circumstance so, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and see how I feel and go from there. Plan? Plan.