Someone taught me how to lose myself. How to concentrate so hard on the body that the mind subsides. He died about a year ago. I keep thinking I see him sometimes and it seems weird that he's doesn't have a body anymore. My mind is always full and he taught us that for character development the key was to forget who you are. He was my seventh grade drama teacher. It seem like such an insignificant role in my life, but I still remember him more prominently in my mind that many of my other teachers. I can't remember why I never took drama after that.

I used to forget who I was, I'd remove myself from the picture and invent a character from the ground up. I would wake up early in the morning and begin, just as if I were applying makeup I'd want to be that day. I'd stay in their mind set for days, picking up mannerisms and traits that were never detailed, but still that were never my own. That's how I coped. It was like cutting. If I couldn't let people see me, they couldn't hurt me.

It made complete sense when I was twelve.