There is a large white board covering one of the walls in my basement. It's in the Rumpus Room, a room full of computers, televisions and a mixture of retired furniture. It is our living room, family room, rec room, and occasionally our dining room. I love this room for the most part. It's cozy and comfortable. It's also the place where the electronic wars take place. Competitions between the volume of the television and the volume of the computer escalate far higher than healthy noise levels. Remote controls are stashed, stolen and hidden. The perfect seat for our favorite shows are secured at least ten minutes in advance, with no guarantee that it won't be hijacked if you get up to go to the bathroom or grab some snacks. The north wall is decorated like the Trading Spaces nightmare. Partially covered in old photographs, dark oil paintings from family friends and horrible framed posters. The south wall is my favorite. Everything blends and fits together so perfectly. To the east is the fireplace and the floor to ceiling rock wall. The white board is on the west wall. It's unsightly, and while I'm not usually fussy about things like that, this particular board and all that it contains makes me furious upon sight. While my father was unemployed he would write down everything he needed to do for the day on half of it, everything he needed to do for the week on the other half. Tiny affirmations and pleads with the universe were dashed in where ever there was space.

Now that he has a job the board has become his personal to-do list. Things that never get done, get forgotten and even play time is scheduled. It bothers me, it's ugly and intruding and I think I might just be jealous of it. I find that pitiful on my part, that I'm jealous of an office accessory. I think I hate that he plans all of it and yet I'm not really planned in, aside for a pat on the head and the "build k's window" that has been there for several months.

I've taken to writing large words like commiserate and tonight I wrote "I hate this fucking board" because I do, and I think it should know it's place, even if I erase it before anyone else sees it, at least I've said it.

I don't really think I'm sane.