Today, I talked with someone. It's probably one of the best things I've ever done. I understand a whole lot more now. I feel a whole lot better. I think the word to descibe it all is catharsis. For some reason that word has been floating around in my head lately.

I'm really really happy that someone finally told me what I needed to know. They didn't dance around, or discourage me based on everything that every other student has experianced.

I learned a lot about myself in the past week. Which is okay. I don't mind. I've had to deal with a lot of "issues" that I mostly just wanted to avoid the rest of my life. Obviously I can't do that, so I now know a lot about my past experiences and my current views of traditional schooling.

Azure Ray is singing Rise and the floaty style of it fits perfectly with my sleepy cathrtic mood.

It took me forever to get home on the bus. That's the only thing about staying afterschool later. It was fun though, and I love being alone but in a crowd of people. There was an adorable baby, she looked just like a Cabbage Patch Doll. The woman who I assumed to be her mother looked only a couple of years older than me. I felt really bad for her. Not bad that she had the baby or anything like that, but it just appeared that she was all on her own. It was really cold and she was only wearing a sweater, and she looked a bit lost.

Alas, I have to go do some balancing of equations. I'm sorry to everyone I've promised mail, I beginning to feel a bit redundant. Tomorrow on the way to school I'm going to specifically request to be dropped off near a mail box so I can send everything.

Rise

Today i'll crawl out of bed
I can't stand your shadow is too heavy to lift
Maybe we'll go for a ride
You said you'd take me nowhere
I said that suits me just fine
I know you've always been near
Whispering secrets i know i'm not supposed to hear
Hold your heart with two hands
Give it to me only to disappear
Look how low i've sunk
Don't ask me to rise
I'll only lose you when i'm high
All alone in the dark
Love survives only when we are apart
Your voice still sounds in my ears
Soft explosions that blossom with the beat of my heart

Azure Ray