It's approximately four minutes to ten, mountain standard time. I think. This is the first time since four AM that I have left the couch.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Not even Tyler. It's hell. I can't help but ask why, or why I deserve this shit, or why anyone does. I used to think that if I just prayed enough, or I just followed the rules and stopped screwing around that it would just go away. I used to be crazy, maybe I still am, but it hasn't gone away and it won't go away and so I spent my day on the couch half conscious.

I don't want to talk to anyone either, it doesn't matter today that everyone likes me again. I don't know why, maybe because I'm sick, or that I'm not getting better, or maybe just because they don't care anymore. I don't want to talk to anyone.