Tonight was homemaker night. My mother left this place of unrelenting filth, my father fled to the garage to make music with the man in the spiderman hat. I washed my clothing, and baked brownies. Now I am trying to make the French revolution sound interesting, and the coup that Napoleon staged sound like brilliance, but I can't because tomorrow is my best friends birthday, and my tooth is throbbing and Ani has stopped talking to me and now my ears are full of pipes and drums and violins.

"A word of caution is in order at this point."