Pretty soon every day I will wake up, and resist the urge to slip back into my groggy coma, I will eat my Cheerio's, or Shreddies, or bread with strawberry jam, with a glass of soy milk. Then I will pull some clothes off the floor in a thoughtless ensemble, I will wash my face, and quickly brush my teeth. I'll run around frantically trying to find my math homework, and the CD I want to listen to in Art, and I'll shove it all into my backpack while running to the car.
I'll sit in classes and stare at my watch, and write down useless information that in mere months will mean nothing and probably succumb to incineration. I will wait impatiently for the clock to inform me that it is time to go home. I will wait for the bus, and ride home with every other person going home to avoid their lives, and tend to their children, and I will go to work, or do homework and eat the same dinner I've eaten for the past 17 years, I will do the dishes and then watch TV, and in the wee hours of the morning I will fall asleep after staring at my ceiling for hours, only to start again in a few moments.
It won't be too long now, less than two years, until I am done with all that. Everything will be unknown and I will be free to choose whatever I want. I will have to choose. For the first time in my life I will get a choice. I will get to make decisions for myself. Until then I only have to consider what I want, it all seemed so important three years ago, that a test would determine the rest of my life, but it won't. My final exams in grade 12 will probably have as little an impact on my life after high school as my first math test does.
Pretty soon none of this will matter. In a matter of days no one will remember what was worn on the first day of school. First impression, and teachers, and final exams will not matter any more than what I had for breakfast, and until then I wait for that day, and I carefully choose the out fit I will wear on the first day, and I will worry about my teachers, and my grades, and I will wait, and prepare myself for the day when I finally get to choose, because that's all I can do.
I'll sit in classes and stare at my watch, and write down useless information that in mere months will mean nothing and probably succumb to incineration. I will wait impatiently for the clock to inform me that it is time to go home. I will wait for the bus, and ride home with every other person going home to avoid their lives, and tend to their children, and I will go to work, or do homework and eat the same dinner I've eaten for the past 17 years, I will do the dishes and then watch TV, and in the wee hours of the morning I will fall asleep after staring at my ceiling for hours, only to start again in a few moments.
It won't be too long now, less than two years, until I am done with all that. Everything will be unknown and I will be free to choose whatever I want. I will have to choose. For the first time in my life I will get a choice. I will get to make decisions for myself. Until then I only have to consider what I want, it all seemed so important three years ago, that a test would determine the rest of my life, but it won't. My final exams in grade 12 will probably have as little an impact on my life after high school as my first math test does.
Pretty soon none of this will matter. In a matter of days no one will remember what was worn on the first day of school. First impression, and teachers, and final exams will not matter any more than what I had for breakfast, and until then I wait for that day, and I carefully choose the out fit I will wear on the first day, and I will worry about my teachers, and my grades, and I will wait, and prepare myself for the day when I finally get to choose, because that's all I can do.
posted by Kar.
at
9:35 p.m. 
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