I'm learning more and more about myself every day.

It's getting easier to let everything go.

I am learning to embrace the uncertain.

...and I'm getting help with the social articulation.

Oh, and did I mention? I really love the person that I am.

I've been in a bad mood since thursday afternoon. The mood was suspended temporarily for a bit at the short shorts contest, but resume after I called my mother to check in. Lets just say my family is really not talking to me.

Bad mood resumed. I am so tired that I could fall asleep now and sleep until bed time. Being that I have an exam tomorrow, I won't, but I could, and that's the point.

I didn't have much fun yesterday. If Yvonne wasn't singing it would have been a total waste.

I'm getting mad at my own pathetic qualities.

I need to get my life back in order.

People suck.

I'm sorry for everything.

I have been drinking too much, partying way too much, sleeping very little, and studying not at all. I feel kind of like life has been turned upside down.

To all the people with heroin eyes.

The sunshine is foreign territory and my eyes don't know how to react. My body wants to pedal until I'm somewhere I've never been before. I want to do something fabulous tomorrow. Exercise is a prescious commodity, as is free time. I want to skip the doctors oppointment tomorrow. There's nothing new to tell me.

So this is the grad ceremony, and now everyone can stop hounding me to get my pictures on the internet. Yes? Yes!

Yeah,
so she'll probably kill me, but well, she couldn't be stopped.

Yeah, i'm not very good at the crack baby look.

More friends, different friends.

Yup, 9 AM looks good on all of us.

This is why she's the best friend.

Elissa being Miss Valedictorian 

 

So apparently I don't sleep anymore....

The Grad Dinner May 28th 2005

This is the customary
pre-grad photo.

Brenna and I.

Prettiest, bestest friend ever.

Table Mates.

Us again.

My purse and corsage. The purse is Mubby's and corsage

was a gift from my mother's florist friend.

Hardcore decorations. I thought it was really pretty...

but I am a sucker for stars.

This was my dairy-free dinner. The black stuff is rice, everything else

is pretty self-explanatory.

This was my dairy-free dessert, if anyone can tell me

what that yellow thing is I'd be so happy.

Taken by Brenna. Pretty corsage and awesome dress.

Miss Emily, post corsage delivery.

Marina and Cody.

Dancing, Note Elissa, keep for further reference.

Marina and Elizabeth.

"Can I take your picture?" "Can we act sad?"

Have I mentioned that Marina is one

of my favorite people?

I know he'll love this...

Sam and Emily and Elissa making absolutely lovely

fools of themselves.

By far the weirdest moment of the night. Customary dance

with the Ex.

Em: "Tyler sent me over." Me: This is weird.

I know these people but since you can't tell who they are I'll just say

doesn't it look really pretty?

 

Tyler is awesome, underwater dancing.

These are my friends.

...and the customary bottle of alcohol on the dance floor.

After everyone left out grad and we were basically glared out of th

building we crashed the Diefenbaker Graduation.

More crashing....

And to end the night. Congatualtions. HeeHee.

 

There are moments that take you places you've never been, a friend's basement, or a mountain top, no matter. These are the places no one else has been, and no one else will ever go. It's the pure moment's of uncomplicated perfection.

This is the story of one of those moments...

I once met a beautiful girl, with perfect finger nails. You wouldn't have noticed. Our hands, working together, displayed the obvious contrast between her perfect hands and my calloused, bitten nailed fingers. I have sculpture hands, reflections of the pieces, see that spot of paint, it matches to that part.

I thought, I don't have a chance. Not with these hands, and not with this girl.

Tonight, I thought it was just me, learning how to flirt, or rather to not repulse. It was the sticky drunken morning as we sat together slowly leaning, shoulders touching. "I don't think I've ever been this drunk..." Friends dancing and drinking, hugging and crying, around us. A friendly stranger's house. She lay her head on my lap and it may have been the whisky, but I wanted to touch her, so I did, and she took my hand and just held it, for those fleeting five minutes, I was in the place, that no one has ever been to, and I won't ever experience again. She had to leave at two, and I don't know what's happening, but something will happen, according to laws, something always has to happen.

I was the most honest with myself tonight, than I have ever been in the duration of my existence. It felt so fucking incredible. Doing things, because my instinct tells me that it's the right, my instinct has never felt right, it's always been a bit off. I outed myself (again, maybe the Bacardi and Whisky) to pretty much everyone, because I don't have the strength to fight it anymore. Now it's five in the morning and I really hope that I remember all of this tomorrow, I'm out, I don't care what people think, obviously if I lose someone, they weren't really supposed to be part of me anyway. And I'm okay with that.

I posted Pride Parade pictures. They were far more interesting than my Grad pictures. I will do the grad pictures soon, but keep in mind that it took me a good 3 hours to get the pictures posted. So yeah. Might be a while. There is the final drama party tonight at Tristans house. So that means there will be more pictures. Oh dear me. I'm going to watch the L Word to cheer myself up.

Controller Controller - Disco Blackout

So this
is the official start of the parade.

There
were cheerleaders, mostly guys, throwing this girl up into the air.

They also shouted and clapped quite a bit.

Attempt
number 2.

The Rocky
Mountain Bears

If you
look closely there is the only horse of the parade, the GLSCA banner,

and a bunch of other cool stuff. Go Pride!

So this
really needs no introduction, they are the coolest of cool,

especially the Elvis'y looking on up front.

Who
knew? Not I. This the the "Calgary Gay Fathers" and CJSW, both very cool.

Ummmm,
yes, I really have no idea about this one. Except, What the...??

Yes, so
the drag queen was looking right at me, and then I felt bad for taking a
picture.

But it turned out really great right?

I'm not
sure which organization this was, but they had really splendid costumes

So yes,
costumes rocked.

"Lesbians Loving Life" enough said. Actually they made me really happy.

Twisted
Element, a local.... bar? IN any case I'm going there on the 23rd

to scream for my friend Rene so he can win money in the short shorts contest....

Or something.

Here is the
Pride Rainbow Project. At
the time I wasn't really involved, but I have

been asked by Emily if I would like to be one of the co-ordinatiors. So now, I
must

give this the best shameless plug of all. If you have non-patterened cotton type

fabric lying around that you don't know what to do with it, send it to me. We're

making the longest pride banner in the world...

I do
know this girl, and aside from being really awesome in her rainbow socks,

she's one of the PRP leading ladies. Hurrah!

Dancing boys were wicked.

...and more pride banner...

...and
more...

...and
more...

This
girl was cool, but I don't know who she is.

and
more pride banner.

So,
most surprising part of the whole parade: IKEA! The couches say

'Celebrating Diversity" and I thought it was fabulous because the night

before I was at IKEA and saw these two guys who were obviously a couple

shopping for couches. I love IKEA!

These
lovely ladies in lovely hats would be the Raging Grannies. They are part of the

Unitarian Church with is affiliated with the PRP. They sing awesome protest
songs.

Yesh, so. It was chaos after the parade behind Wendy's.

And
organization. These are my friends by the way. Elissa, Emily, Rene, Brenna and
Emily.

This
would be the really tall, with really big shoes Drag Queen

that they made me take a picture of.



The End. After that we wandered around and got rained on a bit.

Rene and I bought pride bracelets. All in all a good day.